7 Steps to Being a Victor in Life (as opposed to a victim)

  1. Embrace responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings and actions. Own them. This opens up opportunities for changing and improving them.
  1. Blaming others and seeking fault may feel like it’ll take the pressure off you. But actually, it just adds to it. Taking responsibility means you can move forwards, rather than getting stuck in the past.
  1. What’s the Queen’s favourite mantra? Never complain, never explain. Stop complaining. No one likes a moaning Minnie, a whinger. Instead, learn to turn every disaster into an opportunity to learn and grow. Keep this question on the tip of your tongue – ‘What can I learn from this?’
  1. Contrary to what you may think, so much of what goes wrong in life is not personal. We just choose to make it personal. We really are our own worst enemy at times. Don’t be your own worst enemy – be your greatest cheerleader. Your greatest cheerleader will always have faith in you, even if you doubt yourself at times.

5. Don’t take on other peoples’ burdens. Taking on the task of making other people happy will compromise your own state of mind. You need only be responsible for your own happiness.

  1. Live in the present. Apportioning blame, seeking fault, are actions that keep you firmly stuck in the past, Accepting the brutal reality of the now allows you to focus your energy on moving forward.
  1. Never be afraid of trying, even when you fail, and keep failing. It took Thomas Eddison 1000s of failures to finally succeed and invent the lightbulb. As he famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways it won’t work.” Remember that question I told you to remember? – ‘What can I learn from this? This is one of the most powerful things for you to keep in mind. Accepting that a failed attempt is NOT the end of the road, but the start of a new one will help you build strength and self-efficacy that will take you far.

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